Air Conditioner Monster Caught!

The tree huggers at opossum.org claim:

They are exceptionally non-aggressive and non-destructive. They will not dig up your lawn, chew wood or wires, or create burrows.

After $1,100 worth of repairs to our air ducts, I disagree with them (though I must admit that I think a raccoon did the biggest part of the damage). Either way, this AC monster is caught and will quickly be disposed of in some fashion by the exterminators.

UPDATE:

Well, we have more than one. We have another opossum in another vent...and who knows how big the family is. It is to the point now where I am requesting prayers!

"Since 1892"

I may have been in college before it really occurred to me that this was not a Christmas carol.

When the B. C. Clark Christmas Jingle first aired, certainly no one could have predicted that over the years it would become the Oklahoma tradition that it is today. Intended to promote B. C. Clark’s annual Anniversary Sale, it has evolved over time into Oklahoma’s own Christmas carol.

The Jingle was first written and produced in 1956, and soon it developed a life of its own. The public made that clear in 1961 when B. C. Clark produced a new jingle thinking the original one was dated and had run its course. It was replaced with the old familiar one within hours, after a barrage of complaints

I Think It's Time for a Treatise to The Public

From the AP:

NEW YORK - The man gunned down in a spray of 50 police bullets on his wedding day was buried Saturday as hundreds of angry demonstrators honored him with a moment of silence before going jaw-to-jaw with police in a bitter confrontation outside a Queens precinct house.

The demonstrators taunted police, standing just inches away from a row of officers and daring the police to lay a hand on them. Some in the crowd held signs reading "Death to the pigs" and "Shoot back."

Perhaps it's time for the major Police unions to come together an issue a proclamation to the public reading something to this affect:

Whereas you the public have decided that we are the bad guys and;
Whereas to nonregardance you have cast our lives in favor of the lives of criminals and;
Whereas you have proven that you are totally ungrateful for the sacrifices of our brothers and the pain our families have felt and;
Whereas you believe that you are better able to interpret and enforce the law than we

We hereby resign our commissions as your protectors and agree only to the following job description:
1)When someone burglarizes your homes and your cars, we will respond and take a report.
2) When someone assaults you and robs you, we will respond and take a report.
3) When someone murders your children, we will respond and take a report.

Here are the acts that we will no longer do, as you have made it clear that you do not want us to:
1) We will no longer enforce traffic ordinances in attempt to make the roadways safe.
2)We will no longer patrol the streets of your neighborhoods.
3)We will no longer do active surveillance on known drug dealers.
4) We will no longer actively search for or pursue fugitives.
5)We will no longer respond to calls in which we may place ourselves in danger or, worse yet, endanger the lives of your valuable citizens.

In short, we will no longer risk our lives or the lives of our friends to assist a citizenry that has proven that it would rather not have us.

If after a sufficient period of time our absence proves to have been worse than is our presence and if at that time our citizens have adjusted their opinion of our value, we will be prepared to re-negotiate our terms with society.

Signed,
The Police Officers of the United States

Cops in a snowstorm

Since we had to get our cars out of this stuff just to go to work... (at the time our shift started, our division had seven cars stuck in ditches and snow banks)


We spent most of the night doing this,


And we did a little of this,


Until it was time to come home to this.


Ahhhhhhhh. What a day.

Shalom El'ehem!

I notice that it has been a while since I've written anything so I thought I'd better get it out of my system. We are having our first winter storm of the year. As I write, ice falls from the sky blanketing the roads with class cancelling frozen death. Luckily, I had inservice training today so I am not out sliding around in the police car.

I'm getting out of classes tomorrow. It's nearing the end of the semester and I am super busy. I recently turned in a 16 page paper for my playwriting class. I spent the better part of the semester working on it (the bibliography had 18 entries). I was to turn in a ten page character study of the Biblical character of Jaconb tomorrow. It's typed and ready but classes are cancelled. Next week I turn in another paper for the same class; six pages on monologue in the Old Testament. I have the rough draft for almost one half of my thesis play.

And, just because I love to punish myself (and also because it is cold so I won't be running around much anyway) I have started learning Hebrew, which has been one of my goals since I finished college. I am still in lesson one, so I only know two complete sentences. The title of this post means, "The peace (good wishes) of God with you." I don't actually know how the accepted manner of transliterating the words so I'm doing the best I can. I also know the famous Shamah, which is: Shamah Is'rael! Adonai El'ohenu. Adonai 'had. (Note: What is spoken "Adonai" is written YHWH.) That is, "Hear Israel! The LORD our God, the LORD is one."

-Shalom!

If You Love The Red Sox or Hate Cancer

Check out The Lester Project, a new fundraiser for the Jimmy Fund. Here is the official description:

an official fundraiser for the Jimmy Fund! Upon learning about Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester's diagnosis, a group of four Boston-area college students/self proclaimed Red Sox fanatics from Northeastern, Suffolk University, Emmanuel College and Fisher College got together and decided to create silicone awareness bracelets (similar to the "LiveStrong" bracelets) and donate all of the proceeds to the Jimmy Fund, in Lester's name. What started off as a small project to be shared among friends has grown into a huge undertaking, thanks to the support of Red Sox Nation!

The Official Christmas List.

Here is my Christmas list for this year. (Bill and Saphronia have already given their gift so they are excluded. Thanks Willy and Phrony.


Bowler hat (like the one worn by Charlie Chaplin).

A Dictonary of Etymology. Needs not be specifically this one.


Beckett on Film series.

Barnardine's Pardon

In Shakespeare's Measure for Measure the character Barnardine is a convicted murderer sentenced to death. When his time comes to die, the executioner and the Duke (dressed as a friar) come to lead him to the gallows. Barnardine refuses to be hanged because he is drunk. They argue with him but he is resolute. He will not die. He finally goes back to his cell unchallenged. This is my creative response to the play for my Shakespeare class. In my play, he is pardoned but refuses to leave.

At lights up: inside the Vienna Prison. BARNARDINE sits on a bench with a beer stein. ABHORSON enters.

ABHORSON
Rise Barnardine. I have news.

BARNARDINE tries to stand but is so drunk, he cannot and he falls back onto the bench.

BARNARDINE
I cannot stand. I'm drunk. As you can see.

ABHORSON
Why are you constantly drunk?

BARNARDINE
Because I constantly drink.

ABHORSON
Well, stay seated then. I have news.

BARNARDINE
What news?

ABHORSON
You are to be set free.

BARNARDINE stands and comes forward. He catches himself on the bars.

BARNARDINE
What?

ABHORSON
It's true. The Duke, on the occasion of his return from abroad, has granted a general pardon to all the murderers, thieves and sex maniacs in Vienna.

BARNARDINE
That's amazing.

ABHORSON
Yes it is.

BARNARDINE
And I won't allow it.

ABHORSON
It's what?

BARNARDINE
Why should I go?

ABHORSON
Sir, you've been pardoned...from a sentence of death.

BARNARDINE
Did I ask to be pardoned? I tell you I will not accept.

ABHORSON
I'm afraid you have no choice. You must come out of the prison and walk away a free man.

BARNARDINE
I have been drinking all night. I'm not fit to walk away.

ABHORSON
But you must.

BARNARDINE
I won't. Do not return to me until you are ready to hang me.

ABHORSON
Sir, you are not to be hanged. You have been pardoned.

BARNARDINE
I tell you, I will be hanged and I will not leave here except with an undertaker.

ABHORSON
But sir...

BARNARDINE
This matter is closed. If you have any further news, I'll be on my bench, awaiting my hanging.

BARNARDINE stumbles back to his bench and lies down.

Lights down.

The Language of Policing

In 1066 AD, the British government fell to the French Speaking William the Conqueror at the Battle of Hastings. For the next three hundred years, the ruling class on the British Isles spoke French. Generally in world history, when a people is conquered, they will begin to speak the language of the ruling authority, as the Hellenistic Mediterranean has done before. The English working class however, simply refused. They would not speak or even learn French. Eventually, the French speaking gentry learned that if they wanted to sway their houses, they would have to learn the lingua franca and so a linguistic revolution occurred. For the first time ever, the rulers of a country had to start speaking the language of the ruled. Finally, with Charles II, the English once again had an English speaking ruler. Their nation had survived, in no small part because of the common person's refusal to accept the language (and thereby the nationality) of the conquering power.

What I am saying is; language is an important aspect of our identity. In an e-mail conversation with Christina, I mentioned that I would like someone to write a book on the grammar and language of the Police Department. You see, police officers have their own language. We have ways of talking to each other that the public does not understand. Ways of saying and writing things that take on a life of their own, based on our own needs in working together.

For example, we have a written language in our correspondence to one another via the MDC (mobile data computer, the thing that looks like a laptop in our cars). Here is a common conversation between my partner and I:

Me: 20?

Him: 23/Penn

Me: R/V?

Him: NRT.

Here is the translation:

Me: Where are you?

Him: NW 23rd and Pennsylvania.

Me: Would you like to meet at the convienence store at Reno and Villa?

Him: En route, which of course means, on my way.

It's a language based on common knowledge. When I ask "20?" he knows that it is an abbreviation of 10-20, the 10 code for "what is your location." When I ask "R/V?" he knows that I mean Reno and Villa because meeting there is a common experience for both of us. The brevity of our language comes from necessity. We are typing and driving at the same time (by which I mean that we are pulling over to type messages per departmental policy and best safe driving practices.)

The language that we have becomes part of our identity as police officers. It becomes part of our brotherhood, one more thing that sets us apart from society and makes us our own culture. Is it any wonder we take care of our own? Is it any wonder cops tend to have only cop friends and cop relationships and cop hang outs?

New York Still Waiting for Parade

I found a Sporting News magazine from 2004 in which Sprting News Radio host Arnie Spanier made the easy prediction that the Yankees would be the 2004 World Champions. This was, of course, the historic year of the Boston Red Sox. In celebration of another failed Yankees campaign, I am giving you my favorite passages, along with some gentle commentary.

Asking why the Yankees will win the World Series is like asking why Britney Spears is sexy.

Turns out neither one was accurate.

With Tom Gordon to help them to the ninth and Mariano Rivera to shut the door, they shouldn't have much trouble.

As we now know, it was Rivera's monumental blown save in game four that kept the Yankees from sweeping the Sox, and eventually from winning the Series.

Maybe the more important question is this: If not the Yankees then who? No A.L. team comes close to matching them.

I guess now we know. Of course, we should have known then that someone was atleast close. The Sox were I think, three games back (in 2005 the teams ended the season with an exact tie, the division went to the Yankess because they have beat the Sox one more time than the Sox had beat them...but back to '04). THe Yenks were hardly untouchable. Sfter all, the lost to the Indians 22-0 the last day of August in '04.

Nope, this is an easy one. Yankees fans, start planning the parade route!

No parade in '04. No parade in '05. No parade in '06. The payroll goes up, the result is the same. Good riddance Yanks.