Buy My Book

My play "The Origin of Language" is now on sale through cafe press. For those of you who haven't been subjected to the play already, here is the synopsis:

This absurdist morality tale follows two cavemen as they invent language. As one of the men becomes the linguistic hegemon, a power struggle ensues which will end in destruction.

The cover design was done by my friend and talented graphis artist Ben Johnson with Tactical Magic in Mempis.

Tell all your theatre friends who need one acts to perform! The book costs $10.00 which, after printing, nets me a whopping 60 cent profit. My royalties will be a steal as well, I promise.

American Eulogy

I have really gotten into this one minute play thing. It's very fun to try to be concise and still get the point across. If I write enough of these, I may put them in a book. They would make good character studies for high school and early college. But alas, that's not very humble of me to say.

This play is called "American Eulogy."

LIGHTS UP

There is a podium. It has a cross on it. In front or behind the podium is a casket.
It is closed and has a floral arrangement on it.

Speaker walks to the podium. He wears a dark suit. .

He clears his throat.

SPEAKER
When Karen first asked me to do this, I told her that I didn't know what to say. She told me that I should tell you all the things that we knew and loved about Tom. Tom was my friend. It's fitting, then, that I tell you all the things about Tom that I think he would have liked all of you to know about him... I think though, that even if you'd only met him once or twice, you know what was important to him. You could see it in the way that he lived him life.You could tell because he devoted himself to certain things. And it's these things that we remember him by today.
He pulls out a piece of folded paper from his jacket pocket.
He unfolds it.

SPEAKER
Tom... (choking back tears for a moment)Tom was a workaholic. He spent hours into the night at the office, often not arriving home until everyone had gone to bed. He was a model employee. He didn't let petty things like his son's little league stand in the way of the things that are important in this life. He never missed an opportunity to go out of town on business, even if it meant that he had to miss his daughter's horse riding competition. He was so dedicated that he often wouldn't even call home to check on his family while he was away. You see, Tom lived his life in such a way that we could all see what was important. He...he was the first on the block to own a Mercedes. When it became popular to live in the country, he was the first to move. He had... (starting to cry)four thousand square feet and a detached garage. He had a very nice boat, which he even took me out on once. And he was also a good husband. He gave Karen diamonds because he knew that diamonds were what she really needed. Yes, Tom had it all. I mean, six figures. I think that's what Tom would have wanted us to remember about him. He showed it by the way he lived. No one could doubt what was important to Tom.

LIGHTS DOWN.

Odd Man Out? Religious Survey

Author Julie Ann Fidler is working on a new book and has put out a survey to help her.

It is questioning whether or not respondents have ever felt like the "odd man out" in the church and why and how the church can improve. I urge each of my three readers to take the survey whether he or she has felt this way or not. I suspect that verybody has felt left out of atleast one church and pretty much say what made them feel that way.

You'll Shoot You're Eye Out

Starz on Demand has put our the Christmas Story in Thirty Seconds acted out by bunnies. Worth the price of admission for sure.

But I think my personal favorite is The Shining. These are created by Jennifer Shiman. All of them can be found at www.angryalien.com.

The Importance of Security

I decided to show both my readers a play that I wrote for the DNA Festival of Very,Very,Very Short PLays and Films hosted by the University of Idaho. The festival is an event where 20-25 one page plays based on a topic are performed. No results as to whether or not either of my plays will be selected but writing one page plays was a fun experiment. I've decided to post one of them.

If you would like to submit a play, the details and submission rules can be found here. This year's theme is "Airport Plays." Thus, here is a play in an airport.

LIGHTS UP:

Two TSA screeners stand, facing the audience.

SCREENER 1
Anything to declare? No?

SCREENER 2
(whispers in screener 1's ear)

SCREENER 1
He is?

SCREENER 2
(whispers again)

SCREENER 1
Sir, it has come to our attention that you are a homosexual. I'm sorry, but Congress, the President and the TSA have decided that you are a threat to national security. You must go with an officer to be questioned further. Have a nice day.

A TSA officer enters from offstage. He enters the audience, selects an audience member and escorts him out.

SCREENER 1
Anything to declare?

SCREENER 2
(whispers again)

SCREENER 1
He is? You'd never suspect if you weren't told. Sir, It has come to our attention that you are an African American. As such, Congress, The President and the TSA have determined that you are a threat to National Security. You must go with this officer to be questioned further. Have a nice day.

A TSA officer enters from offstage. He enters the audience, chooses an audience member and leads him out.

SCREENER 1
Ready to take a break?

SCREENER 2
(whispers)

SCREENER 1
Well, if we're secure, it's all worth it in the end. Have a nice day.

LIGHTS DOWN:

Irrelevant Church

I have been feeling convicted lately. I have read a few books in the past months that have all seemed to have some common themes. The last of which was Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. In it, Miller traces his coming of age in his spirituality.

In it, he discusses many of the ways that "Christianity" gets in the way of spirituality. May of his ideas, I was ready to disregard because he often threatened to throw the baby out with the bath water. But, then I went to church.

Something very frightening occurred to me as I looked around at the faces in the crown and sung along by memory to the songs.

The church is completely irrelevant to modern society. Before you move to dis-fellowship me, look around at your own congregations and tell me if you don't see it too.

Even in very good, open, loving congregations, you'll notice that the service is for and by comfortable Christians. We preach about issues that no one is talking about to people who we know will agree with us. We have completely lost touch with the world that we have been sent to preserve.

I think that the biggest problem, is that we have no focus. It's okay that the worship service is set up to edify the Christian. I'm not suggesting that we start gearing our services with the sole purpose of seeking the lost (though that should be a concern). The problem is, that we've made the worship service the focus of the church.

Christianity is something that we do once to three times a week at a building somewhere in the suburbs. It was never supposed to be that way. The church service is supposed to be the smallest part of what we do as a church. The church exists to serve the people that are around us. The worship service is meant to be a time to edify, learn and thank God in between the stuff that we've been sent here to do. Yet, very few of us have given up our possessions, or actually gone out and fed the hungry. Instead, we think it's enough to give a little money on Sunday and pay someone else to do our work for us, then we complain when the people that we are giving the money to don't repay us by filling our pews.

That's not what we've been called to do. We are here to do actual work. We are here to save the world. Unfortunately, we haven't even tried.

So, what will I do about it? I don't know, these are un-thought out ramblings at this point. Will I plant a church? Will I begin to sell my possessions and give to the poor? Will I write a book (of which I already have a couple in the works)? Don't know. I will start and have started by praying on the issue and evaluating my own role in the church and the Kingdom of God.

That's all for now. More later.

I've had this on here before.

So for those of you who have been reading this tripe since I started it, sorry. But I was waxing nastalgic today and found Jordan Lundy's portfolio online. Jordan filmed and edited "The Accuser" a film I wrote in college. He has the last scene online. Watch it here because I'm still proud of it.

Happy Turkey Day

Thanks Charissa for sending me this outstading greeting!

Idiots Protest Dead Soldiers...Again

We've been dealing with these retards for the past couple of months. Here is a flyer advertising this mornings protest at PFC David Martin's funeral. Martin was killed in Iraq when a roadside bomb destroyed his humvee. These people think that God is killing our boys to punish Americans for tolerating homosexuality. The church's (Westboro Baptist in Kansas) website is at www.godhatesfags.com. That should say it all.

Some of their other articles from the website:
Thank God for the Indiana Tornado
God Hates Sweden
God Hates America
Thank God for Katrina (Mongerel Bush and his battle of New Orleans)

Happy Halloween!

For your enjoyment and to lighten the mood, here are a couple pics from our church Halloween deal:


My wife pitches game six of the 2004 ALCS.


Frank, also known as The Cat in the Hat and his thangs.

Sgt Jon Dragus. Killed in the Line of Duty. October 20, 2005.

For those who have not received an e-mail from me. Please keep the Dragus family as well as the Oklahoma City Police Department in your prayers.

Sgt Jonathan Dragus was involved in an accident 3:00 AM when he was involved in an accident while pursuing a stolen motorcycle. He died shortly after 11:00 AM.

He is survived by his wife, eight year old daughter and five month old son. He was an exemplary officer and we in the OCPD family are hurting very deeply.

The driver of the motorcycle spent about 19 hours on the lamb before turning himself in just before 10:00 PM on Oct 20.

Prayers please and God speed the return of our Lord so that we may see all those we've lost again.

Ridiculous "Bible" tract of the week

Though I haven't posted one of these on months, here is the ridiculous bible tract of the week, formerly known as the "Chick Bible tract of the week."

*The name has been changed because this ons is not from Chick.

Replacing the Sox Blog

I am replacing my Red Sox blog with a more general baseball blog. I will shift focus to include lots of local baseball stuff from Oklahoma. This is an attempt to raise my readership from zero to one.

The new site is called Red Dirt, Navy Cap.

There's not much there, but there's some World Series Baseball to be played and the off season haggling for players starts, which is the most interesting time for controversy hungry bloggers.

Google Bomb of the Day

Type the word failure into Google and see what pops up. The top two are sooooo apropos.

The French Hate the Smurfs

Well, I don't speak French so I don't know what it really says, but I'll bet this Unicef Commercial mocks us somehow.

Having bombed more than one Smurf village, I can tell you from experience that this clip is obviously not actually footage. In all the bombings I've done, the smurfs have never scurried around like that. They are always very quickly in the nearest house and not a soul is to be seen until hours after the bombing campaign had ended.

This is because, after 1947, building codes required all smurf cottages to have a re-enforced mushroom roof and a bomb shelter, due to their protracted war against the Nation of Evil Scientists Wearing Black Smocks.

This clip is fake and it's just one more piece anti-American propaganda from UNICEF. Our war against the smurfs, or as we called them "the blue smears" is just and legal

Existentialist Writer's Quote of the Day

I found a play that I worked on (and wrote the first act of) a couple of years ago. I started it in probably 2002 and messed with it from time to time until I became a police officer, after which the play has set in a tray and is no longer even on my hard drive. Anyway, the first or secong time I revised it, I wrote a note on the front cover of the play which I think is kinda funny, looking at it a couple years after I wrote it and I thought I'd share with you and insight into my writing style. It says simply this:

Make David real bad. Kill him in the end.

Hope you liked it.

What I Did This Week

I'm hiding from the cameras, but here is the story. We have been busy in Sector Three this set.

Starbuck's Cup Quote of the Day

Got a Venti Vanilla Latte the other day and this is the quote that was printed on the side.

Everywhere, unthinking mobs of "independent thinkers" wield tired cliches like cudgels, pummeling those who dar question "enlightened" dogma. If "violence never solved anything," cops wouldn't have guns and slaves may never have been freed. If it's better that 10 guilty men go free to spare one innocent, why not free 100 or 1,000,000? Cliches begin arguments, they don't settle them.

-Jonah Goldberg
Editor at large of National Review Online

Go Out and Get Your NBA Gear

It's official. The New Orleans Hornets will be moving to Oklahoma City for the 2005-06 season. In a move reminiscent of the baseball Angels, the team will be called "The New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets." During TV broadcasts, the title will be shortened to "N.O./Okla City."

The City, the State and a private investment group of Oklahoma Businessmen (no doubt this is code for the Mathis Brothers and the guy who owns Express Personnel) will share three way risk, guaranteeing the team $10 Million if the team falls short of it's desired $40 million revenue.

The team will play six of its home games in Louisiana, the remaining 35 will be played in the Ford Center.

Still can't Understand what They're Saying

Charissa and I went to the Spin Doctors concert tonight a the State Fair. It was AWESOME!!! The band is touring to get the word out on their first album in 11 years, after being broken up for seven. The concert was incredible. They are an outstanding band live. We even bought the new CD and T-Shirts, got all the members autographs and took a picture of Charissa with lead singer Chris Barron. Here are the pics.

Charissa with Chris Barron

"Two Princes"

Kinda fuzzy during "Pocket Full of Kryptonite" (I'm holding the camera above my head and Chris is dancing around alot)

Opening of the Show. Cool Green Lights...

Headless Ted Memorialized in Sculpture

For those of you who don't know (I had forgotten this myself) Red Sox great Ted Williams was cryogenically frozen after his death in 2002.

Strangely, his head was surgically removed and is being stored separate from his body in a lab in Scottsdale, Arizona, where he waits with about 60 other popsicle bodies to be re-animated when the technology exists.

Sculptor Daniel Edwards has created a sculpture in honor of Ted Williams and in protest to his state of chilly unrest. The sculpture depicts the head of Ted Williams sitting in front of the bust of Ted Williams, with his head leaning back and his eyes partly closed.

Says Edwards:

They should free his remains. I'm a huge fan of Ted Williams. When I was a kid, the first bat I got was a Ted Williams model.

By the way, the decision to cryogenically freeze Ted Williams was made by his son based on a scrap of paper which stated that Williams and his children wished to be frozen when they died so that they could be together again in the future. William's will requests that he be cremated and his remains be scattered in the Florida Keys.

By the way, you can have your own Headless Ted Sculpture (there are three) for 15 grand.

Scanner Traffic of the Night

Found this on Freq of Nature a radio website. Apparantely, Osama bin Laden hangs out in Redding, CA at the Walgreens and drives a Silver Suburban.

This one, however is a little more intense. You'll here lots of unit numbers and stuff you don't understand, but you'll know when the crap hits the fan. Most people don't realize how quickly stuff happens and how quickly it is over.

Goodbye Summer

Today, summer officially ended. On the last Redhawks homestand on my last day off, Charissa and I went to what is likely our last baseball game of the year. The REedhawks hold a slim lead over the dicivision and are likely playoff bound but I doubt that we'll get to go to any games. Tonight the Redhawks set a single season attendance record which will continue to gro until the homestand ends next Monday.

With a five run third inning, the Redhawks win 5-3 preserving a 1/2 game lead over Albuquerque. Not bad considering our starting pitcher, Ricardo Rodriguez who is on a rehab assignment from the Rangers, only lasted three pitches (1 ball, 2 strikes). Anyway, in honor of the end of baseball, we brought the camera and snaps some pics. Here they are for you.


Our guy goes down looking. I snapped the picture hoping he'd swing. We have a similar picture that Charissa took with the same result. Batter took a called strike...

Pre-game walk on the canal.

The Ballpark sign after the game. Goodbye until next spring our lady. Atleast I don't have to look at the statue of Mickey Mantle in his ugly Yankee uniform for the rest of the year.

Fox Watch

Recent Quotes from commercials for our local Fox Network:

They work at your companies, they shop where you stop, they go to the same schools. The only thing is, they don't belong here...

The next day:

What's the official language of the United States? How 'bout anything you want. Why English is getting lost in translation.

It's important that the country start thinking about illegal immigration. It's important that the government start to work harder on suppressing illegal immigration. However, do these two quotes sound alarmist and a tad racist?

It's one thing to say that these immigrants aren't here legally and it's one thing to say that the issue needs to be addresses. It's another thing to say that these people don't belong here. Have we forgotten what this country is about. Have we forgotten the inscription, "Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breath free."

It's hard for me to reconcile my opinion on the first quote, because I agree with the concept that illegal immigration should be handled, I just didn't like the way it was said. It's hard for me to reconcile, until I here the second quote.

This is the point that the conversation goes from slightly reckless verbiage to outright snooty white guy. It carries the implication that America is apple pie, baseball and English and anything else shall not enter our hollowed ground, sanctified by the blood of patriots.

Perhaps, Fox, is it possible that America is bigger than English. That it's bigger than the white middle class SUV driving members of the two major parties? Do you think that it was a sad oversight by the Founding Fathers not to name English as our official language? Or could it be that the Fathers with great purpose and forethought left the nation open to invite those who may not speak our great American Language (strangely named after a different country...)

I recently heard my favorite argument for mandatory English to all who aspire to be Americans. I was told, "all languages that have not been unified by language have fallen." Lest we forget, all nations is the history of the world have fallen.

This is a classic Aristotelian Fallacy. "Nations A and B did not have a unified language. Nations A and B fell. Therefore, Nations A and B fell because they did not have a unified language." This is a faulty syllogism. It fails to consider that Nations C, D and E also fell though they did have unified languages.

Oops, I'm ranting. The lesson for my local Fox affiliate is that regardless of what you think Uncle Sam would say, People who don't speak English are not necessarily subversive. The Fathers wanted an open country so that the Irish could come and work and the Chinese could come and mine (even though they didn't speak English).

Now, modern world what it is, it is important to secure our borders because we have enemies. However "Americans" must be diligent not to have a blanket distrust all peoples with olive skin and a funky language.

I shall leave you with a quote that my wife heard in the great modern symposium that is Wal-Mart from the great American thinker that is a fat, toothless woman.

[dropping her bags on the floor]"Honestly, do they have to saddle right up to you and babble incoherently!?"

Thanks Mick

For Putting this out there.

Because your girfriend is jealous that your wife gets all the presents.

This story from MSNBC is amusing if also slightly disturbing. Cathy Gallagher has cornered an open business niche by creating cards for adulterers.

Robert Butterworth predicts what will become a good play someday:

"I can see trouble ahead," he said. "This will be a boon for marriage therapists all across the nation, because [the cards] are going to wind up in the wrong hands. They're going to go to the wrong address, and they're not going to self-destruct."

My Storm Damage

Stately, it once stood in the Spruill's front lawn
It seemed so full of majesty and brawn
But then came a storm it could not defeat.
And now it lies dying
In the Spruill's cold street.

Refer to Blog 2

See the outstanding and bizarre stories I posted on my Sox Blog!

Jeff Vs. Pond Monster

The wife and I finally got tired of the malaria farm in the back yard, so we decided to empty and clean out the garden pond in our back yard. Here's some pics to bring you in on the experience.


Here is me in the mud hole that was once a nasty nast pond.


Me holding the terrible alien beast that was swimming at the bottom of the pond.



Voila! Here is the finished for now product. We still have lots of winter projects to do, such as replacing the ugly woodchips with pebbles, and some other stuff to un-whitetrash our yard.

Drape Your Hearts

On July 31, Officer Larry Cantrell of the Supulpa Police Department was killed in the line of duty in an automobile accident.

Officer Cantrell was responding to a crime on progress with lights and sirens when a car pulled in front of him and he swerved to miss it. His car flipped and struck a culvert.

Tragically, his father who was ona a ride-a-long was also killed in the accident.

Please let this family invade your thoughts and please, pay attention out there.

Kinda can't see it, but Charissa insisted on taking this pic because I am working plain clothes wearing a Krispy Kreme hat. I believe in giving the other team a chance.

Aunt Chicken, David, Donna and my mother in law sing away.

G-pa and Aunt Chicken

Me and the in-laws. I'm on the far left.

Me and The Mrs. at family reunion.

I don't remember who the people on the left are but I know the two on the right ;)

For GH

Welcome Home Mom and Dad

My parents returned from visiting the relatives in Germany Sunday. The best part of having your parents leave the country is the loot they bring home.

Pictured above is the biggest bag of Gummy Bears ever seen in the western hemisphere, Tasty chocolate bars, a beir stein, a necklace for Charissa and a small medicine tin with a Hummel painting on the lid. There is also a bottle of Olive Oil my parents picked up in Italy Not pictured is a pound of coffee they gave me as well.

Academy Pics

Found my pics from the Police Academy. I put them on Yahoo, so that I could share them with all. Click on title to go to the pics.

Found this graffiti near my house.

Pics From Texas

The view from our hotel

The Sox warming up before the game

New Site

I put up a site about drug abuse, drug policy, drug trade etc. It's The Drug Review.

A Remembered Memory

When I was little this really strange kid live down the street from me (and I'm not talking about Heathe). He was kindof a nerd (again, not talking about Heathe but I'll bet Heathe knows who I'm talking about).One time he told me this stupid story which I will now relate to you.

He said that his mother's dream was to go to an Oklahoma City 89'ers game. For those of you who don't know, they were the old AAA affiliate in OKC before they changed their name to the RedHawks.

Anyway, finally one year, they took her for her birthday. Sadly, she was hit by a foul ball and knocked clean out. When she came to, she said, "where am I?" They said, "mom, you're where you've always wanted to be. At an 89'ers game."

I thought I'd share that ridiculous story with you. Though, because of my young age, I did not doubt the truth of the story at the time, I was already old enough and smart enough to think, 'dude, if what a stupid thing to have as a dream. If her dream was to go to an 89'ers game, why did someone wait so long to drop $8.00 for a ticket.' Seriously, it's not Fenway people (my dream. The $150 is a little harder to drop.)

The Introspective, Aloof 17 Year Old inside me Rejoices

I woke up to read this today:

After a break of almost 25 years legendary British pop
group Pink Floyd are to reunite for one of the
concerts organised to mark the G8 summit in Scotland
next month.

David Gilmour, Nick Mason, Roger Waters and Richard
Wright will play at the Live8 concert in London's Hyde
Park on July 2, one of five masterminded by pop star
Bob Geldof to draw attention to the plight of millions
of poor Africans.

Pink Floyd, famous for their film The Wall, in which
Geldof appeared, and albums such as Dark Side of the
Moon, broke up in the 1980s after personality clashes
between Waters and the rest of the band.

My Friend Tim added this:

I really hope the concert is televised!!!

I also hope this inspires them to make one last tour all together.
I'd love to see them live just once. And with Roger back in the fold,
it should add a lot of life that was missing from Delicate Sound of
Thunder/The Division Bell as well as all of Roger's solo works.

I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl right now.

I'm, giddy too, Tim.

Just Because it's Friday

With there being crime scene tape and a lonely radar gun, I don't think this picture shows the whole story.

New Link

A new drug link. It's Erowid a site maintained by a couple with the very interesting names of Fire and Earth Erowid (obviously not their given names). The site claims to be neither for or against drug use per se (they have a section on how to say to to POlice searches and how to talk to cops) but is meant to educate and promote the responsible use of drugs.

Our New Doggie

more Cooper

Our new dog: 15 month old Doberman named "Cooper."

Congrats to Jonathan and Alice!

My brother-in-law Jonathan and his wife Alice had their baby, Laurel Whaley on May 20th. Here are some of the photos.

Here is a tired papa!


And a very proud grandpa (now I'm not making fun of him when I call him that:)


And my favorite, the top of Aunt Charissa's head holding baby(check out the new red hair. How would that head look in a pink Sox hat?)


All the pictures can be seen here.

Found a CD of pictures from the academy gun range. Here we are just before a good "smoking"..Or maybe just after judging by the mud holes around our bodies.

A rare moment of fun.

The gross stuff coming out of the slide and the reciever is a Snickers Bar. This recruit had to have a clean gun the next morning so that we all avoided punishment. We helped him!

Drug Links

I know, to many of you, these links won't be interesting but as it is an area of interest to me, I have added a section of links about drugs and drug use. Right now I have put only three on there but I will add links as I find good sites.

Of the three on there, streetdrugs.org is the most comprehensive. Teachers, parents and cops all should become familiar with this site.

The other two are decidedly pro-drug. I like the pro-drug sites because they offer a unique perspective into drug use and they are often well thought out, intelligent sites.

The first is a site about one of our most popular drugs here in the city and indeed in most metropolitan communities, 3, 4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine, commonly known as MDMA or ecstasy.

The second is a group of popular inhalants in the gay community (very big in the beat I ride) called simply "poppers." Poppers are canisters of amyl nitrite or isobutal nitrite (other nitrites are used to but these rae the biggies). They are sold as tape head cleaner or as room odorizers (curious since they smell like socks). I am told by users that they inhale them just before climaxing and it makes the climax more intense.

There you have it. Enjoy.

Did I Feel Exposed?

I'm going to share a dream that I had long ago and have never been able to figure out. I don't know why I have waiting so long to share it as I had the dream years ago, in the days of yore.

The setting is in the Reynolds center at Harding University (my alma mater). As you walk up the stairs and go towards the communications side of the building, there is an east to west hallway that leads to two separate north to south hallways. Picture a tuning fork and that's the basic blue print.

In my dream, there are two toilets in the east/west hallway on the north wall. (For those of you who went to school with me, I am referring to the hallway where the CP/APO bulletin board was located). There are no stalls or anything, just toilets. I approach one of the toilets, drop my pants and sit down to do what men do when they sit.

Strangely, it doesn't seem at all abnormal that I am doing a number two with people walking all around me between classes until a girl I know enters the well lit scene. I don't remember which girl I know that it was in the dream or even how well I knew her. After we exchange a few pleasantries, she take her place at the other toilet.

My first instinct is to think like a man and I say to myself, gee, I wonder if I could get a peek without getting caught. Then I think, nah, what's more unattractive then a girl pooping. Very few things unless you're a sicko twisted type.

But I can't help to see her feet out of the corner of my eye. That's when it hits me that this is a very awkward situation. Then I am trying to think of a way out of it. People are walking all around me and I am frozen with fear. I can't just discreetly pull my pants up and leave because I am in need of wiping. But I don't want the world to see me doing that embarrassing chore. What do I do?

Then I wake up.

Super Friends

Just because:

Sesame Street has gone down hill

New Link

I've added a new link. For those of you who are from Oklahoma City (with me) it's a good resource for what's happenin' downtown. For those of you from out of town, it's a good reason to visit. That's right it's the Bricktown website.

I'm No Longer on the Fence

I have destroyed "The View From the Fence" because I'm tired of keeping up with politics and religion. When I have comments to make on those subjects, they will go here.Between the Red Sox and my house, I don't have time for the world any more.

Here's some Art

From Wooster Collective

Yuuuuuummmmm

Looks like a new appeal by the Chick-filet cown. Only you won't believe what they want you to eat this time. At least the jingle is pretty.

Here's a hint:

House Update

I found the owners manual for my dryer on the internet and got directions to hook up the plug. seems to be working, but I haven't put it through the final test of running a load for the full cycle.

But...the whirlpool bath has stopped working. Maybe the house can't handle having a dryer and a bathtup at the same time in the same room.

Plumbers coming over tomorrow about my leaky potty. I have been advised by a friend in the news group I am in not to watch "the Money Pit" for at least a month. Probably best... We'll see.

By the way, I didn't mean in my lastr post to make my father-in-law sound like a clod. My wife read it and I know he is a regular reader too so I hope it didn't come across wrong. The intention was for his battle with my house to add to the tragi-comedy of my home ownership experience not to make it sound like he's a dastardly person. Upon reading it again, it kinda sounds wrong to me. I hope he didn't read it and take it wrong.

So to him:
If you read it, I hope it didn't offend you, wasn't meant to. You're still my favorite father-in-law and I have many.

Welcome Home

Well, we're in the new house. Most of our stuff is too, though all of it is in boxes. Moving day was Thursday, which was the hottest day we've had so far this year (naturally, it has been unseasonably cool every day since then). Please keep in mind that our house was built in 1946 because I'm fixing to give you a rundown of all the problems.

The day we closed, I came over to do some yard work and tried to turn on the living room light. It didn't come on. Lo' and behold, the whole eastern half of the house had no power. I thought I had a major crises on my hand. I messed with the fuses, turning them off and on again several times, each time to no avail. I called the realtor who called the electrician who called me and told me that it sounded like OG&E had a "leg down." He came over to check and found taht OG&E had all legs up. He also found that I had all the fuses off. Turns out, on this old house, up is not on in the fuse box. Out is on...that is, away from center. The top row must be up to have power, the bottom row down. So I had an elecrician come over to turn on a fuse. He didn't charge me!

Then my father-in-law decided to be helpful and replace the plug on my dryer. He was only succesful in cussing a lot, and throwing some things.

The honey suckle was so over grown that I spend about three hours trimming it and all the new growth was so far from the plant, that now I don't have any flowers on my honey suckle. I spent several more hours pullinh English Ivy out fron under my siding so taht it doesn't knock my siding off.

Also, the biggest problem, tonight we discovered that the water line leading away from the upstairs toilet is leaking into our kitchen ceiling. Gotta call the warranty company and realtor tomorrow so that we can get that taken care of.

At the end of the day though, we love the house. It's very big and very nice and very charming. We live in the Mayfair Heights district, which is an urban conservation district, which means we have about 20 pages of by-laws we have to follow to live here. That also means that the whole neighborhood is full of old two story houses which are very nicely kept. I love our neighborhood!

Okay, This Definetally Isn't Art

From Reuters:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A Berlin couple plan to have their first baby at an art gallery, the gallery owner said on Saturday, confirming a newspaper report.
"It's a gift to humanity, a once in a lifetime thing," Bild newspaper quoted Winfried Witt, partner of mother-to-be Ramune Gele, as saying.

Johann Novak, manager of the DNA-Galerie in central Berlin, said the artistic couple wanted to challenge conventional norms.

"It's a bit of test to see if society can cope," he said in a telephone interview.

About 30 people are expected to attend the birth, scheduled for April 24. They would be told to come to the gallery as soon as the 27-year-old Gele's contractions became regular, Witt was quoted as saying.

Novak said the gallery, which usually shows installations and video art, would be closed during the birth. "The private aspect will be maintained," he said.

Another gallery owner in the street said: "I find it mad."

What the !@#$%

Bring It On!

The month from you know where has begun. I start Drug Recognition Expert school on Monday (the day after opening day of baseball.) I have the inspection on the new house on Wednesday. Beginning Monday the 11th, I am on call for a jury trial. Pluse I'm in DRE school, plus I have traffic court on the 12th (which I am going to try to get out of.) The day after DRE school ends (the 19th) I close on the house (the 20th) and moving on the 21st. Oh yeah. That week I am on call for prelims on another trail. Then I have firearms requalification on the 27th.

All that to say, if my posts get a little boring for the next few weeks, now you know why. I am still going to devote some time to the three blogs, since they are my creative outlet. But if the comments are kind of terse, now you know why.So long and keep checking in, cause I'll be here, frazzled and shaking.

Ah...So Sad...

"People in New York and Los Angeles, especially mothers in the African-American community, are more afraid of the police injuring or killing their children than they are of muggers on the corner."

Johnny Cochran said that. And now he's dead. I'm hurting today...

Brum's New Home Office!

We bought our new home today. Signed the contracts and we are set to close on April 20 and move in April 21. Go us! Of coarse all of it still depends on inspection of the home and final mortgage approval. But, again, here it is:

Brum's Got a New Look

Don't panic. You're in the right place. I've given the brum this new look as I was getting bored with the old one. This template is also a little prettier.

In other news, the wife and I have been approved for a home loan and have our search narrowed down to two homes (but I'm going to look at more today, just in case).

This is the leader:


Followed by this house with a HUGE kitchen:


Update

The bottom house (with the huge kitchen) has been sold. that's okay because we liked the top better. We're going to talk to the mortgage guy on Monday and make an offer on the house. We'll see what happens.We will have to figure out a way to come up with the closing costs and buy out our lease at the same time. Yikes! But if it is meant to be it will happen.

In The Movies, Those Museums are So Secure

This picture is of a British graffiti artist knows as "Banksy" hanging a piece of his own art in the Metropolitan Mueseum of art. Banksy smuggled art into The Brooklyn Museum, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Museum of Modern Art, and the Museum of Natural History.

This piece:

an obvious parody of Andy Warhol's Cambell's Soup Can remained on the wall of the Met for three days before it was discovered and removed. The largest piece was 2 foot by 1.5 foot and featured a colonial era guy holding a can of spray paint. As of March 23rd, according to the Wooster Collective, only the soup can had been removed.

Banksy:

"This historic occasion has less to do with finally being embraced by the fine art establishment and is more about the judicious use of a fake beard and some high strength glue.They're good enough to be in there, so I don't see why I should wait"